Feeling a little guilty...

What's going on with me?

Bear with me as I give you a little background to my feelings....

I met a nice, handsome guy with dreads about 2 months ago at a bar. Literally, we were at the bar. Me and my girl had just walked up to the bar to order some drinks. Immediately a man that appeared to be old as Methuselah offered to buy us drinks and hit on me. I wasnt surprised because this particular place caters to a particular age group and the live music is always on point. So anyway, Im leaning against the bar sipping on my drink and Methuselah is standing in front of me trying to get my number. All the while nice, handsome dread guy is also sitting at the bar drinking with his boys. Occasionally we would sneak looks past the people we were talking to and check each other out.

Dont you love it when you see someone attractive and the feelings are mutual but you both still try to act like your not staring......priceless!!!!

So some time passes and I get rid of Methuselah. My girl and I grab a table to enjoy the drinks and music and another guy approaches the table. He was nice. He was also tall and cute but a little on the skinny side. We are all talking and having a pleasant time but the whole time we were at the club I was secretly hoping I would meet nice, handsome dread guy. Every now and then I would check to see if he was still around. After doing this a dozen times I realize that he eventually left. By this time im feeling a little dissappointed and of course I totally blame tall, cute and skinny for blocking!

We all agree to go get some breakfast. Tall, cute and skinny leaves the club first and waits for us outside while we use the ladies room. As me and my girl are finally leaving the club nice, handsome dread guy appears out of nowhere and says "you know I wasnt leaving without meeting you". I smile. Names and numbers are exchanged.

The next day we hook up for drinks, conversation, flirting, and games. I learn that he is frm Florida but lives on the east coast. He joined the army after high school and I went to college in Florida. We have a significant age difference and he has a young son. I tell him that I am a designer and desire to move to the west coast. He tells me that he has a clothing company and lauched his first show on the west coast! Long story short....we are vibing and making eyes at each other. By the end of the night I ask him if this was it.

Day after that he goes back to the east coast. He text me that same day and we eventually talk on the phone a few days later. Again, our conversions are great and we continue to learn more about each other. We even send a few pictures.

This all sounds great right?

Well, it is but after that we have been playing phone tag like a mother and I cant say that its all him because he always call when he says he is going to call. Me on the other hand always call him whenever it is convenenient for me. I work full time and when I go home Im sewing all night. The only little time I have to talk is in the bed on the way to sleep and I really dont want to do that. I cant get with the time differences and my weekends are just like my work weeks. However, when we do talk it is briefly because im always doing something. Im always apologizing to him about not calling and he is understanding but says that he is also dissappointed and that being busy is no excuse...I couldnt agree more.

I really do like him but I have a few concerns and some are honestly a little vain. In this case his young son lives with him and requires a lot of time and attention. How much time could he give me? Does he have baby mama drama? He lives all the way on the east coast and we are both so busy. Do I want to put in all the work that it would take to have a long distance relationship?

My best friend says that it is all about balance and that I should be able to do it. I mean I am really feeling him! He is handsome, employed, fun, and has mad swagger yet I just cant seem to do it...

Could I possibly be missing out on a good guy? Am I being too self centered and just making excuses? I dont know....Just feeling bad about not trying I guess


Sorry for such a long post....482